Unfortunately, not everyone is born with the innate ability to be likable. Having this trait as you can imagine can lead to success in life all around from friends to family to work. The book I recommend highlights some points at which I have personally applied. I have noticed a few very strong points and realizations that I would like to share with you.
How’s it going everybody this is vita bush today i’m gonna talk about how to be a more likable person now i’m not just gonna make this up out of nowhere i’m gonna draw on the information in this book called how to win friends and influence people it sold more than 15 million copies already so you know it’s a pretty good book and a lot of people do recommend this
Book already i have personally recommended this book before and you can actually get this book for free on audible and i’ll leave more information towards the end of the video on how you can get a free audiobook and also helping it fit this channel now i’ve actually read this book twice before with several years in between and each time i read it i still feel like
I have not completely grasp everything this book is trying to teach mainly because it’s so hard to implement you really have to be aware of what it’s trying to do and just kind of apply it to your life you have to practice it in order to get good at it now some people just have this natural charisma and they just walk into a room and they’re able to make friends
With everyone me being an engineer being sort of an introvert this comes a bit harder for me so it’s something i need to work at what i’ve noticed after reading this book and sort of applying it to my own life is that as an engineer i’m kind of like a perfectionist so then i would look at things whenever someone says something the first thing that goes off in my
Mind if it’s completely incorrect or even a little bit incorrect or even if they’re correct actually i might say something in response that would you know kind of like a know-it-all sort of it’s like oh yeah you know you want to do it this way oh you know by the way doing it like this is better yes maybe it is and maybe everyone in the world agrees that it’s better
But by saying that so quickly after someone says something about something you are essentially stepping on their ideas stepping on their pride this what i just talked about is highlighted in part one the very first chapter don’t criticize condemn or complain the short phrase it’s the very very short kind version of what’s in the chapter it sort of elaborates a lot
Within the chapter it talks like it goes through like a little story so that kind of like an example so that you would understand it a bit better when you just say it in one short form like this it may not hit you as something that you need to apply and something that requires practice because i can just read this right now and and i realize for myself whenever i’m
Talking with other people sometimes i have this urge and sometimes i still do to not criticize per se but like to bring up alternate points kind of like a rebuttal sort of is in a way a bit of criticism the second thing this thing talks about is give honest and sincere appreciation now this might sound like sucking up and it does say this in the book but it’s not
Sucking up if you find points that you sincerely appreciate of course there’s always something that you can appreciate about and if you practice appreciating things then you can more and more easily find things that you appreciate about something when someone opens up to you and gives you you know their opinion you are most likely able to find something that you
Can appreciate it about or something that someone did maybe they gave you something and you think it’s horrible or it’s really ugly or something you can still appreciate the fact that they spent so much time on it you know there’s something good about it maybe it’s a craft project okay let’s say it’s really ugly but maybe they did something really great about it
Like maybe like a certain trim looks really nice or something like that then you can comment on the nice parts of things now this is not really gonna be a book review i’m just gonna bring up the major points that i think kind of reverberates with me the next point on this book i like to talk about is principle number four it says here be a good listener encourage
Others to talk about themselves the opposite of this is really people like to talk about themselves and after you read this book you really start to notice when you’re sitting around a table of people basically everybody about 95% of the time when you’re talking about something it always comes back to i did this i did this someone would go oh i went to europe or
Something and some someone else would go although they went to europe they would go oh i also went to europe you know a couple months ago uh yeah i went to this and this there’s so many eyes in a conversation there’s very very little of like you know taking yourself out of things and just go oh you went to europe how did you feel about going there oh how was it oh
You know just kind of it’s their their conversation they’re talking about themselves so this is how you have a really good conversation is when you let other people talk about themselves and you are generally interested in their lives basically and and an intern they are very happy to share that with you now the last point i want to cover sort of wraps back to the
Original point where when someone brings up a point you really should not bring up your own point that is a little bit better no matter how good it is you know if you get in the habit or this you just kind of get thought of as a no at all and i personally have a problem doing this myself so you know i’m not a perfect person so then i you know i need to work on
These and i think many many people need to do this because me coming into contact with multiple people i notice it very quickly when someone brings up a point and then they quickly very quickly like that immediately the first thing they say is something related to that subject but something that they know that is better principle number two over here page 126 says
Show respect for the others person’s opinions never say you’re wrong now this is a little harsh right you’re never gonna say you’re wrong because for someone that does this you know it’s obvious that they’re they’re not trying to be friends with anybody if you’re like this thing should be cleaned in a certain way using whatever right and then you know if you
Go you’re wrong the best way to clean it is to use this and this cleaner so yeah don’t say you’re wrong but then you can also see the same thing by by not saying you’re wrong first right basically if they go oh i want to clean it suns such in such way but then you’re like oh you know what the way i do it and i think it’s really great is if you clean is such in
Such way there is a nice way to bring it up if you really truly think there’s a better way to clean it you can sort of slide it in a bit softer but it’s likely even better if you don’t even bring it up at all if their opinion of cleaning this thing is their way they already have this preconceived notion that they want to clean it that certain way they think it’s
The best already of course you know what’s going on in my mind okay if i know a better way of cleaning this thing is oh i really want to share this with them so that’s why there’s this urge of all you always want to you know share your best opinions that’s why you know you’re the know-it-all you like everything i know is like the best you know best secret because
Especially on this channel you know i show all these videos i’m like oh these these are the best ways right so if i do not resist the urge to tell them this best method well you’re not gonna make any friends and you know if you keep on doing this you can do it once in a while but but if every single thing every single sentence that you say that comes out of your
Mouth it’s always one up there whatever their thoughts are whatever their knowledge is about certain things then you’re just gonna rub people the wrong way and you’re not going to i don’t know form good bonds with people if you just keep on attacking their intelligence basically if they know something you always bring something up this is really bad and for some
Reason in this book it talked about you know very famous people that are very personable and this is something that they’re somehow able to hold in this is hard for myself they mention like theodore roosevelt or something and this perhaps is something that everyone could practice in and if that’s one thing that i would draw out of this book it’s that it’s to not
Always try to bring something a better idea right on top of someone else’s you know in a way respect their ideas and just kind of hold it down a little bit so i hope this really quick run-through of this book not really a book review or anything because it’s really i haven’t read this for quite a while and it’s really just through my personal experience of trying
To apply this book reflection and just kind of seeing which points are the most important to apply almost every single chapter is pretty important to me however some points to me are more applicable than others now again if you’re interested in this book you can check out my audible link down in the video description below where you can get this free audio book
And if you don’t like this audio book but i think you really really would like it because if you go through this whole thing you’re gonna go wow you know it’s not just for people that do not have any friends at all if you have a good amount of friends this book is still good for reapplying you know you can always be more efficient at something or become a better
Friend becoming able to influence people more etc don’t forget to give me a like on this video comment down below let me know when was the last time you read this book if you already have this if you’re interested in supporting my channel directly don’t forget to check out my patreon link over here where i give various perks at various contribution levels such as
Helping with your credit score helping you about your finances and the like and as always don’t forget to subscribe to my channel over here and click that bell icon next to the subscribe button so that you get a notification whenever i upload a brand new video thanks for watching
Transcribed from video
How to be Likeable By BeatTheBush
