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Hi i’m aaron from broke millennial for the financial diet welcome to the three minute guide brought to you by skillshare financial abuse occurs when someone else is controlling how and when you spend your money sometimes one person has complete control over another’s financial life including bank accounts credit cards and investments in other cases you may have
Total ownership over your finances but someone else is manipulating you to spend or save your money in a way that you just don’t feel comfortable with there is also a big difference between the growing pains of blending your financial life with somebody else and experiencing financial abuse financial abuse can also impact all different types of relationships and
Come in different forms of severity it could be with a romantic partner your parents your siblings your friends even a boss common warning signs of financial abuse include not having access to your own bank account being told that you can’t work or being forced to hand over the money that you do earn for someone else to control being put on a tight or unrealistic
Allowance that’s distributed by another person having large purchases made or debts run up without you being consulted and having your name and information being used to create financial accounts without your consent some members of the tfd community have been brave enough to come forward and share their own stories of financial abuse i’m going to read their stories
Today and names have either been omitted entirely or changed to respect their privacy one woman wrote in i experienced financial abuse a few years ago after being laid off my partner was basically pissed off that he had to work in a stressful field and pick up extra shifts because i was either collecting unemployment benefits or working part-time minimum-wage he
Expected to be able to spend his money on his wants because i got to quote do whatever i wanted to do at home all day any money i did make went towards the shared expenses and i wasn’t allowed to spend anything on myself not even the things i needed but he could buy whatever he wanted i wasn’t allowed to question it i regret not speaking up for myself more but
I was afraid that doing so would cause fights and possibly end the relationship another woman shared how her career opportunities upset her partner my boyfriend in university was not a nice person although i didn’t realize until much later how controlling he was our finances were a particular point of contention all through our dating and engaged life he would
Be very angry with me if i bought anything without checking with him first fast food new school books monthly bus pass new sweater anything and everything needed to be cade by him it really came to a head when he realized that our career paths would leave us with a significant income difference and i would be making more than him he tried to convince me to quit
School and choose a different kind of career in job path so that our incomes would be more equivalent at the end of the day it taught me a lot about how to manage my finances and that i truly love what i do i fought for this career and no one can make me feel badly for making more money than they do but financial abuse can extend beyond romantic relationships
And even impact you in your place of work as one tfd community member shared when i started my first full-time job in my industry i was put on a week-to-week contract earning slightly above the recommended wage i didn’t realize it at the time but this setup allowed my boss to take advantage of a loophole in the law to avoid paying me any holiday pay sick leave or
Retirement savings i worked there for about 18 months and in that time he avoided paying me about $15,000 if i ever questioned any financial arrangement he would get defensive yell and warned me to never accuse them of being unfair about money he also refused to pay me my last invoice i learned a lot from that first experience and it’s led me to reject a number of
Job offers when i sense the same kind of ego from management i’m clear about the conditions of my employment before i sign anything and i know much more about my rights and i have learned to defend them finally another woman in the tfd community wrote in about how moving in with her boyfriend cost her more than her relationship when my ex-boyfriend and i moved in
Together i agreed to take most of the financial burden since i could afford it and he was a student and he would just chip in on everything he could as the year went on i woke up to a whole host of emotionally manipulative and abusive behaviors that he had been exhibiting for years so i decided i wanted out but i felt guilty because he’d have nowhere to go and no
Money to leave with when i expressed to him that i wanted to break up that was the first thing he brought up so i stayed i stayed and continued to pay for more than half of our rent and every single one of our utilities on top of my own personal bills like insurance when i finally ended things i was financially drained and in about $1,500 of credit card debt his
Finances and credit remained intact moral of the story don’t let a significant other become financially dependent on you and set financial boundaries when you move in together financial abuse can also sometimes be an extension of a physically abusive relationship so it can become dangerous for a person to try to put financial systems into in order to be able to
Leave if you or someone you love is currently experiencing financial or physical abuse please refer to the resources linked in the description of this video they include the national domestic violence hotline as well as resources and guides for how to protect yourself when you are leaving an abusive relationship part of recovery after experiencing financial abuse
Is to start rebuilding your own self-worth one way to do this is to spend time building up your confidence by expanding your talents a simple way to get started is with skillshare which provides an easy and affordable way to expand your talents every week we’re featuring a different skill share class we think you guys will love this week’s class is drawing us self
Discovery five ways to start hosted by writer in illustrator mari andrew who found her own artistic talents while going through a tough time this class will build an arsenal of tools to return to again and again so you can gain focus unleash your creativity and could even lead you somewhere completely unexpected as always those skill share offers a huge range of
High-quality classes on must-know topics from writing to fitness to business and it’s all about what you want to learn at an affordable annual subscription of less than ten dollars a month and since skillshare is sponsoring this video the first 500 people to use a promo link in the description will get their first two months free to try it out risk-free click the
Link in the description to check out this week’s featured class or any of the other classes skillshare has to offer have a money question you want to learn more about leave your topic idea in the comments section below i’m erin from broke millennial for the financial diet and don’t forget to be here next thursday for a new three-minute guide
Transcribed from video
4 Women Share Their Stories About Financial Abuse | The 3-Minute Guide By The Financial Diet
